Disclaimer thingamabob; I do not own the EGBs, nor do they own me. Neither of us are making money of off this, so there!

Don't Ask

By Icka! M. Chif

Garrett rolled into the firehouse, a strange feeling of unease creeping up his spine, tickling the hairs on the back of his neck. Something was wrong here. For one, it was too quiet. Egon was at the college at a teacher's meeting, he knew. It was Janine's day off, and the Ecto-1 was gone from its usual place, meaning the others were out on a call. But it was still too quiet, even for the place being deserted. Even Slimer should be making some noise.

"Hello-?" He called.

Now he could hear something. Someone laughed upstairs. It didn't sound like a normal human's laughter. Looking around, he spotted a spare trap and grabbed it on his way to the elevator. The elevator took its sweet time getting to the second floor. Course, it always did, his claustrophobia and impatience not helping to speed things up.

As he got out of the elevator, something assaulted him. Maybe assaulted was the wrong word. Several lazy floating bubbles surrounded him in a cloud of iridescence. One popped on the wall next to him, coating the wall with a thin filmy residue.

"Great." He muttered sourly under his breath. "Slimer's probably trying to do the dishes."

The laughter echoed through the firehouse again. Nope. Definitely not Slimer. And not any human he knew. Which only meant one thing. It was time to kick ghost butt. He moved forward, grinning eagerly. Forget the others, he was going to have this ghoulie trapped before they even they even got back. Solo. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, giving him a pleasant buzz as he moved forward. The bragging rights alone were worth it.

He crept up to the kitchen door and peeked in through the bubbles. He could see the ghostie alright. It was about three feet tall, with lots of strange white tubing in various sizes coming out of the holes in it's sponge shaped body, making it look like some sort of deranged floating hedgehog. A couple of tube extended into the sink, which was full of sudsy water. Bubbles were coming out to the rest of the tubing, and floating around it. As he watched, one of the tubes would reach out and pop a bubble, popping it. The ghost laughed as it popped. Well, it wouldn't laugh for long.

"Alright, ya oversized bubble wand, hold it right there!" He ordered, rolling into the kitchen.

His team mates came into the kitchen not long after to find him sitting in his chair, arms pinned to his sides by a foot high piece of PVC tubing that had somehow gotten wrapped around him, the floor soaking wet with soapy water. A trap sat not far from him, the little blinking light indicating it was full.

"Whadda gawking at? Get this thing off of me!" He snapped at them.

Roland cautiously stepped forward, taking care not to slip on the slippery floor. He reached his trapped companion and tried to pull the tubing off.

"It won't budge! It's stuck!" He grunted.

"If we soak it with soap, it should slip off." Kylie suggested.

"NO! No soap!" Garrett yelped.

They gave him a strange look.

"Uh, can't we find something else to get this off with?"

"Oil." Kylie suggested.

"We're out of the cooking oil." Eduardo said, picking up the trap with distaste as it with a loud 'Slourp!' "Janine used the last of it a couple of days ago."

"Wouldn't recommend using crude." Roland added.

"We have butter?" Kylie asked.

Eduardo shrugged. Sighing, Kylie walked over to the fridge and opened it. She rummaged around a bit and pulled out a medium sized container. "All I can find is 'Yak butter'-?"

"It'll have to do." Roland sighed, holding out a hand. "Egon must have gotten it for one of his experiments."

Kylie shrugged and handed it over, taking the top off. "Smells awful."

"Make due with what you have. This won't take a minute, Garrett. Just hold still."

Roland started to smear the butter on the tube. Garrett almost gagged, it smelled so bad. But he could feel the tubing starting to slip a bit.

Eduardo frowned, looking around. "So, Garrett. What exactly happened here?"

Garrett sighed. "Don't ask. What ever you do, don't ask!"

Finis

Normally credit for my stories go to the Voices in my head. Not this time! You can thank AnneL for this one, challenging me to write a story with "Garrett, various lengths of PVC tubing and Yak butter, no smut!" For those who don't know what PVC tubing is, it's that white plastic looking tubing people use for plumbing. Not the metal stuff. Also useful for whacking younger sibs over the head, but you didn't hear that from us. *grin*